The Right to Comfort
How supremacy culture prioritises comfort over justice, and what integrity asks of us instead
This week I saw someone who had built a huge career from talking about people shifting from mindless consumerism into active citizenship, speak out on Palestine for the first time. It was a vulnerable share about their sense of powerlessness, not knowing what to say or do to make a difference, and how they have reached a point where they simply couldn’t stay silent anymore. I was a little taken aback to know this was the first time they were using their voice and platform because when I think of their mission, it seemed obvious to me that they would have had a point of view on this. They literally advocate for collective action and solidarity, hope over cynicism, institutional accountability and community empowerment. It was a strong reminder of how powerfully supremacy culture can silence the best of us. I share this not to judge them in any way, but to highlight just how challenging closing the integrity gap can be in moments when the shit really hits the fan.
On the same day, we saw a masterclass in leadership integrity. The Spanish prime minister, Pedro Sanchez, shared a renewed set of sanctions and clarified their stance on Israel. In explaining their rationale, he acknowledged that Spain’s actions probably won’t fix things but can play a small part in making change happen, and for this there was huge value.
“We know that all those measures won’t be enough to stop the invasion or the war crimes. But we hope that they will serve to add to the pressure on Prime Minister Netanyahu and his government, to alleviate some of the suffering of the Palestinian population, and to let the Spanish people know that their country was on the right side of history when it came to one of the most infamous episodes of the 21st century.”
As a less influential country in the context of this genocide, its decision may or may not be a catalyst to wider action, but it certainly comes from a place of being values aligned at a time when so few can resolve the dissonance. As a resident of this beautiful country, I honestly couldn’t have felt more proud to have my values represented in this way. There are many things people say this government doesn’t get right - and that is the thing about integrity - it doesn’t mean behaving in complete perfection and never making mistakes. It’s how we show up to what’s right in front of us, in that moment. Letting the Spanish people know that we acted on the right side of history was one of the most powerful things I’ve heard any leaders say in recent times, and coming back to my first example, I wonder what role the will of the Spanish people, in their increasingly vocal protest of Israel, had on his decision to step up the sanctions.
Sanchez was able to side-step the pressure that comes from white supremacy culture in a way that our first guy could not. In my experience, the right to comfort is one of the biggest challenges of our time, keeping people in check and towing the party line.
Here’s how it works:
It Prioritises dominant-group feelings
Fear of ‘making others uncomfortable’ keeps many quiet. Whether it’s funders, employers, or peers, the imagined discomfort of those in power is placed above the urgency of naming genocide and mass displacement.
We Tone police ourselves
People edit their language so that instead of speaking with moral clarity, grief, or outrage, they try to sound ‘measured’, ‘unemotional’ and ‘reasonable’. In doing so, they replicate the same tone-policing that has long been used to dismiss calls for justice.
Workplace and institutions avoid conflict
Workplaces, charities, and universities discourage open conversation about Palestine under the guise of neutrality. Those inside these systems absorb the message and choose silence rather than risk reputational or professional consequences.
We centre comfort over harm to others
A focus on the awkwardness of Western audiences displaces the catastrophic reality of bombings, starvation, and mass death. The hierarchy of concern becomes protecting feelings here instead of acknowledging violence there, and it conveys a reality of how we rank humans, putting the West and its comfort at the top.
There is internalised fragility in the room
Individuals, especially those with racial or social privilege, internalise the belief that their discomfort with speaking up is evidence that silence is safer. When the language of ‘feeling triggered’ or ‘protecting my wellbeing’ is used to justify avoidance of hard truths, fragility is repackaged as self-care. That fragility then reproduces the system: silence becomes complicity.
Finding Courage
If silence reflects the pull of the right to comfort, integrity requires us to act differently. Integrity is the practice of aligning what we know to be true and how we choose to show up. The first step is to name where the integrity gap lives, and here are some questions that might support you with that.
Discomfort as signal: When I feel uneasy speaking about Palestine, do I interpret that discomfort as a reason to stay silent, or as a signal to act differently?
Solidarity as responsibility: Do I see solidarity with Palestinians as someone else’s job, or as a responsibility that comes with my values and privilege?
Institutional alignment: How do I respond when my organisation or community hides behind ‘neutrality’? Do I go along with it, or do I name or challenge it?
Western fragility: What patterns do I notice in myself to justify avoidance or inaction, or to not stay present with hard truths?
Community practice: Who are the people I can lean on to practice truth-telling, and how am I building or joining networks that make speaking up more possible?
I especially love this last offering - being a part of the farewell to the Global flotilla last weekend gave me such a boost of clarity and courage, it’s personally given me a lot of thought about the importance of regular moments of self care for me right now is being in spaces where speaking about these issues is normalised, encouraged and taking action with what I have is valued.
One such place that is doing that for me right now is the Action Hour for Gaza, in association with Business Leaders for Peace. You can find out more about this here.